Whenever we stare at that first blank
page of a new manuscript, we ask ourselves a question, What opening scene
would make me interested in reading the book? No, this isn’t rhetorical.
It’s a genuine question.
For us, a great opening scene is a combination
of three things:
·
A short, choppy first sentence to throw
the reader into the book without context.
·
Immediate action to keep the reader
invested in the story. Remember: you can always backfill your story with
information later.
·
A cinematic scene (i.e., a textured,
toned, and nuanced scene that you can see in your mind’s eye) to tell the
reader “this is what you should expect for the rest of the book.”
A hook should always, always match
the title, cover, and blurb of your story. Why? It’s all about setting up
expectations for your readers. From the title, cover, and blurb, the audience
is already subconsciously expecting something from what they already
know.
For example:
Title: The Happiest Gnome
Cover: A smiling gnome standing in front
of a cute cottage with his family.
Blurb: Gary the Gnome couldn’t ask for
a better life…
So, what’s the opening line here? Well,
certainly don’t start with the murder of Gary the Gnome or his family.
All it will do is make your readers feel like you tricked them into something
awful, as they were expecting a fun, cozy book based on the title, cover, and
blurb. Instead, we would start off with something like this: Gary wasn’t
ready for the baking competition. Sweet, simple, to the point. You want the
reader to ask themselves: “Oh? What baking competition?”
We know what you’re thinking: how are
you supposed to create an action-packed first scene for a book called The
Happiest Gnome? Simple answer: expand your definition of action. Action
doesn’t necessarily imply fighting, screaming, blood, and gore. In fact, action
could be as simple as being late for work and trying to take all the shortcuts
getting there while trying not to get a speeding ticket. For The Happiest
Gnome, we would write something like this:
Gary wasn’t ready
for the baking competition.
He kneaded dough,
chopped apples, and stirred the filling as he prepared both his award-winning
apple pie and his lemon biscuits at the same time. Gary glanced up at the clock
just above the stove: 6:17PM. “Oh no. I’m going to be late!” He cooked faster,
his limbs in a frenzy.
Glenda, his
adorable wife, watched from the side with a pitying expression. “Dear, I can
help—”
“I can do this!”
Gary shouted, even as he put lemon in the apple pie and apple in the lemon
biscuits.
See what we’re getting at? In this way,
we can still create action from this opening line, but not bloody action.
From here, we expand this scene, including
Gary’s wacky children who mess up his baking even further. With a horrible pie
and biscuits, Gary bolts from the cottage, and we immediately describe the
immense expanse of gnome cottages in a beautiful, lush village far from any
humans—if there even are any humans in this world. Then Gary arrives at the
annual Gnome Cook Off Extravaganza! …Where he loses horribly. But because he’s
the happiest gnome, Gary finds a silver lining and always stays positive. That’s
the point of his story.
For a cozy, happy-go-lucky story,
that’s a good intro. Not our type of book, but a good one all the same.
Caveat: even if you are writing
something like The Happiest Gnome, keep in mind that happy, beloved
stories don’t have to be happy the entire time. Think about how many times
parents and friends are killed off in Disney and Pixar movies. Even at the very
beginning of Bambi, his mom dies. In the same vein, you can still have painful,
tearjerking scenes in happy stories. Why do we say this? Because, even if you
write happy stories, never open with something as slow and boring as “Today was
a good day.” It might match what the story is about, but it is still boring to
read.
Example 2:
Title: The Many Deaths of Jasper the
Gnome
Cover: A gnome hanging from a noose in
front of a cheering crowd.
Blurb: Jasper the Gnome already died
seven times this week. It’s about to be eight…
So, what’s our opening line here? Well,
unlike in the previous example, you definitely should start with the
murder of Jasper the Gnome’s family because your reader is already expecting
something grizzly and brutal from the context clues. Let’s expand on the opening
line:
Death was most
visible at night. So was the assassin.
He slipped through
the window and into the small cottage burrowed into the side of the hill.
Filled with laughter and life during the day, the kitchen was dark and
despondent as the assassin creeped through it with only the moon’s light to
guide him. Continuing through a shadowed hallway, he came to a set of three
doors: one to the right, one straight ahead, and one to the left.
Which should I kill
first? The assassin tapped the glinting knife against his unshaved
chin and smiled. Does it really matter? They’ll all die so quietly that none
will ever know I was here. The assassin smiled, but it became a frown when
he stared at the middle door. Jasper’s door. You shouldn’t have crossed me,
whelp. But I’ll make you pay. You’ll all pay.
Quietly, the
assassin slipped into Jasper’s room and up to the bed.
And… that’s all there is to it. A
simple, gripping first line. Immediate action. A cinematic scene. Now it’s your
turn.
